Oh, My Beloved, My Sea Monkey

This poem has been making the rounds of the Bad Poetry scene. It came to my attention from this website. Enjoy.

Oh, My Beloved, My Sea Monkey
Suspended and freeze-dried in a cozy foil shell,
What dreams do you dream (if you dream),
Pray do tell.

The moment of creation, you awake from the evil spell --
I'd like to be excited, but frankly I can't tell
if you're happy in you're new home or DOA in hell.

Purified and tranquil in the water that you dwell;

How many of your powdered brothers
did I spill outside your plastic vessel?

Low these many days I wait like a sentinel
For you to wear the crown in your little citadel.
My tiny, mucus-like backwash friend,
A brine shrimp without a cocktail.